Tuesday, March 3, 2009

#3--Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer

It's gotten really cool on the 'tubes to hate on Twilight. And, honestly, I kind of love it. I loved it before I ever even touched a copy of any one of the books. It's hilarious, and has provided me with hours of entertainment.

I actually have a friend who picked up the series when it was first starting. She told me about it before the third book had been released, and she was really thrilled with the series. I wrote it down in my little notebook that I have with me everywhere, and occasionally saw the name and title while I was flipping through looking for something else.

Then, somehow, the whole damned thing exploded and Twilight was everywhere. The popularity actually made me more wary of touching the thing, but I decided to take the plunge, and I was determined to keep an open mind about the whole thing, just in case there really was gold hiding in those pages.

And besides, I like vampires. I was in 8th grade when the Interview with a Vampire movie came out, and I was at just the right age to be totally taken in by the whole thing. I devoured the book, zipped through the Vampire Lestat, and never finished Queen of the Damned. That Christmas, my mother (bless her) gave me a copy of Rosemary Ellen Guiley's Complete Vampire Companion.

And thus, my love of vampires transfered from the angsty gay foppish vamp to the mouldering corpses waiting in their coffins to be staked while they infected their loved ones with consumption. Give me mullos and the sari kedi and polongs and all of the oddball creatures that somehow subsist off of blood, viscera, psychic energy, or by sickening their victims. Give me succubi and incubi. Give me real, live human murderers who drank the blood of their victims and so were dubbed vampires by history or the media.

I still really enjoy fictional vampires, though. And I'm all for a reimagining of the vampire mythology. I've got books and anthologies devoted to that idea, and some of it's great. So I was all ready to pick up Twilight and really enjoy it.

Holy hell.

Every damned thing everyone's got to say about it is completely right. I won't even go into listing the offenses, because I might do myself or my keyboard harm. And it seriously isn't worth the energy required.

I ran into the friend who had recommended it, and told her I'd finally read Twilight. She asked what I thought, and all I could do was cackle. Turns out (bless her) that she loves the series, but she kind of loves to hate it, too. We met up in a coffee house with our computers, and we took turns pointing each other towards all things funny and Twilight-bashing. Much fun was had by all, and for that, I can't really bring myself to hate it.

Also, I went to high school with far too many people who never actually read an entire book cover to cover, not even for class assignments. I know adults who haven't read a whole book, or who are proud of not liking to read. Even if every single Meyers fan never cracks another book after finishing the Twilight saga, that's still that many more people who have read one to four books, and that's a good thing.

Darren McGavin
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